The Need For Brutal Honesty
Defending or Learning, Justification or Action, Truth or Norm
Reflections inspired by a selection of questions requiring brutally honest answers.
-h/t Morgan Housel for the questions
Curious
Defending or learning:
Do I spend more time defending what I already know instead of trying to learn something new?
Knowing brings confidence, but oftentimes, being brutally confident about what you think you know is where the trouble starts. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wholeheartedly defended what I thought I knew only to look foolish when the right answer revealed itself.
Feeling like you need to be right all the time is draining. Not knowing or at least being open to a different possibility is much more freeing.
Note to self: Empathy saves you from embarrassment.
Conscious
Justification or action:
Which of my current values would be different if I were raised by different parents?
Who you are is largely shaped by your parents and upbringing. Depending on the value in question, it can be a blessing or curse. Blaming parents for the parts of ourselves we don’t like is easy. But truthfully, we’d be much better off putting that energy into creating better values. That’s where brutal honesty is needed. Do I genuinely want to change or am I simply looking for a cheap explanation to justify my behaviour?
Change
Truth or norm:
What do I think is a universal truth but is actually just a norm unique to my own culture?
Over the past week, I got to put this question into practice. Tasting culture in the UAE and Indonesia. Taking only a few minutes in both, to realise how different life is compared to Ireland. How different my truths (norms) would have been, had I been born elsewhere. Quickly establishing that much of what I believe to be true is really only what I’ve been exposed to. Confirming that if there is one truth I know — it is that I know nothing.
Try the questions out for yourself. Reply to this email, or leave a comment if you want to have a chat.
Live Free,
Niall
Love this. This speaks my language. It is how I approach everything that comes to my mind.
I believe that it was Socrates who said, I neither know nor think I know.
Yesterday I wrote in Notes: 'Two of my most fundamental self-inquiry questions: Do I believe this or is this something that I was taught to believe? Do I want this or is this something that I was taught to want?
I question because it keeps me learning and growing. It also keeps me more compassionate and humble.
Any thoughts?'
I like this quote too:' It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.' - Mark Twain
Thanks for sharing ❤️
Great stuff. Defending what you already know is the death of self-expansion as it is the death of science and similar investigations. I've taken inspiration from the example of Neil Peart, the late drummer of Rush (my favorite band growing up), who was arguably one of the top three if not the top percussionist in the world. Yet even late in his career he took the time to study with a classic jazz drummer because he always knew there was more he could learn. And spiritually speaking, there's always more to learn in the quest for Self-realization, because Self-realization means union with the Infinite. As Yogananda said to a professor who asked if there is an end to evolution, "No end. You go on until you achieve endlessness."
Your other points are equally thought-provoking, but I'll limit myself to commenting on just one. :)