The One Sitting In Your Sunshine
Hiding In The Shadows, Stepping Out Of The Shadows, Catching a Tan
“Now, fear is going to be a player in your life, but you get to decide how much. You can spend your whole life imagining ghosts, worrying about the pathway to the future, but all there will ever be is what’s happening here and the decisions we make in this moment, which are based on either love or fear.”
- Jim Carrey
Prelude
To represent the message of this edition, I’ve reimagined the meaning of some lyrics from ‘Nobody Knows’ by Loyle Carner. If you read this post in the Substack App or have a Spotify account, you can listen to a quick 30-second sample to capture a sense of the mood that inspired the words you read.
Curious
Hiding in the shadows:
Are you lost, or are you just another man
sittin' in my sunshine, tryna catch a tan?
The one sitting in your sunshine is fear.
Nothing is holding you back in life more than the limiting and irrational false narratives formed from fear.
Fear tells us that we are incompetent and undeserving, that our dreams are unrealistic, that we are lacking and incomplete, and that we pale in comparison to others. When it comes to pursuing passions and ambitions, fear convinces us that we fill somehow f*ck it up and that we shouldn’t even try.
Nobody on the outside knows what fears exist within your mind, but those imagined ghosts like Jim Carrey describes are what will prevent you from living true to who you are. Keeping you sat in the shadows, holding out the light. Knowing what you want but stifled by the false sense of reality fear creates. The opposite of living free.
When I first knew I wanted to publish my writing I was scared shitless to share it broadly so I played it safe and kept the audience small with a handful of friends and colleagues. Even then, after a few months, imposter syndrome won over and I brought it to a halt.
As long as fear is never questioned or explored, it will continue to cast a shadow, keeping you from pursuing what matters, and denying you of a well-lived and meaningful life.
Sensing irrational fear becomes an opportunity to express curiosity. To ask, “Is what I think true, or is fear sittin’ in my sunshine, tryna catch a tan?”
Conscious
Stepping out of the shadows:
So who am I?
Ay, yo, I'm asking who am I?
Who you truly are is veiled by the shadow fear casts.
Despite fear’s best efforts to convince you otherwise, who you are has nothing to do with how your ego interprets past experiences, negative thoughts, limiting beliefs, or false narratives.
Your true nature precedes it all. When your actions come from the love that you naturally are, fear no longer stands in the way of your sun. You step out of the illusion existing only within your mind and begin to participate in reality. With that comes the energy, curiosity, inspiration, and freedom to do all of the things you know are true to you.
Change
Catching a tan:
Yeah, no sittin', there's no livin'
You can sit on your hands today but if you stay sitting, eventually you’ll reach the end and before the lights have gone out you’ll already be pale from never stepping out of the shadows. There’s no living in that.
Frankly speaking, that’s what tipped the scales for me last winter when I left the career path I had carved out. The clarity of knowing I didn’t want to reach the end having never at least attempted to prioritise what mattered to me most while I had the chance, outshone the shadow cast by the fear of losing security and certainty. A decision made in that moment from a place of love rather than fear.
Attempting to defeat fear is a waste of time. It is a normal part of being. The next time fear arises when you are making a decision relating to how you want to live your life, see it as a reminder that you’ve strayed from the truth. Like Loyle, ask yourself “Who am I?”. Your response will ensure it’s you who catches a tan and not fear.
You have everything you need to thrive.
Live Free,
Niall
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Check out Good Reason. AOTTW #017
LVN Stories
‘What truly matters?’ is the question driving my LVN Stories project and I’d love to learn from the perspectives of people who have seen a lot of life.
Have you got a parent/grandparent who is 80+ years old? If so, I’d love to interview them and share their wisdom. You can get in touch via lvnclubstories@gmail.com.
~~~
shares her story of learning to move beyond the fear holding her back from following through on what brings her joy and meaning.You can read the full LVN Stories collection here.
LVN Club Community Update
Having listened to your much appreciated feedback, we’re going to explore Substack Chat as an alternative to Discord for hosting our conversations.
For both you and me, bringing all of our communication to one place will make it easier to interact. Plus Substack has enhanced its features, offering us more ways to come together, which I am excited about.
The essence of our chat will remain the same: Coming together to explore and share our curiosity for wellbeing and living meaningfully.
How to get started
Get the Substack app by clicking this link or the button below. New chat threads won’t be sent via email, so turn on push notifications so you don’t miss conversation as it happens. You can also access chat on the web.
Open the app and tap the Chat icon. It looks like two bubbles in the bottom bar, and you’ll see a row for my chat inside.
That’s it! Jump into my thread to say hi, and if you have any issues, check out Substack’s FAQ.
I love this perspective! Rather than wasting energy trying to get rid of fear better return to answering the most important question “who am I?” It’s always about love, isn’t it.
Hi Niall,
I think about fear a LOT. For me, fear is one attribute of my Inner Critic--this part of me that has tried to protect me by holding me back, telling me not to take a risk, warning me of some perceived danger (usually rejection). So reading your article today reminded me to ask my Inner Critic to be quiet today, especially since I am feeling more and more vulnerable the closer I get to pitching my essays outside of Substack and querying agents, starting in January. Thank you, as always, for being such an encouraging voice here!