The Pitfalls Of Seeking

Running is Running, Inside or Out?, What’s Next?

Happy New Year!

For those that are new here, Live Free is a weekly collection of reflections on living well. It’s free and you can receive it every Friday, straight to your inbox.

Been thinking about the invisible wave of energy that washes over us in the new year, building a sense of motivation and desire to change our trajectory.

Don’t worry.

This isn’t another regurgitated advice column on how to transform your life in 2025. There’s already a swath of content out there, and quite clearly, it ain’t working. Because if it did, everyone would be superhuman, smashing life out of the park. Instead, we have an unofficial holiday for quitting on your goals — that will no doubt be celebrated once again.

So, what does that say about the efficacy of preachy self-help material? It’s like buying a bag of crisps (chips). Looks full of content on the outside but when you open it up, you find nothing but air.

Rather than share an empty bag of crisps with you, here are some pitfalls I’ve made and continue to make. You might pick out something that suits your taste.

Running is running

Sometimes, I have to stop and remind myself that whether you run from or toward a feeling state, you are running, and that infers where you are right now is in some way undesirable.

Inside or out?

Took me a long time to grasp this one, but after collecting several material achievements and noticed nothing internally changes, I eventually realised that when the source of feeling good lies outside yourself, you’ll forever remain spinning your wheels.

Am I pursuing a goal to attain happiness or is the goal arising from the happiness that I inherently am? Big difference.

What’s next?

Absorbed in a cycle. Never satisfied.

Finding yourself back at square one, where the whole pursuit started. The very endeavour you embarked on to solve your feeling of inadequacy leads you around in a circle. Through your continuous search for joy in improvement, you reinforce the idea that you are lacking. Never taking stock of the fact that who you are here and now is perfectly good.

Ironically, it is from that place of acceptance that sustained change takes place.

So, what’s next? Maybe the best answer is nothing.

Something I’m curious about:

Earlier this week, I watched an interview with Peter Doherty, the well known English musician who has long struggled with drug addiction. The host, Tommy Tiernan, asked if 'Tiny Pete’ displayed any signs resembling his adult behaviours and it got me thinking about my own traits.

So, the question I have for you is:

Can you trace any of your current behaviours or characteristics back to your early years?

Live Free,

Niall

If anything in this edition resonated, please click on the heart at the bottom or the top of the email ❤️. It helps readers discover Live Free.

p.s. thank you for the kind messages many of you shared over the holidays — means a lot!