Why You Must Be Ruthless - TFAB #24

A Few Thoughts About Pursuing What Matters To You

Date: Wednesday, January 24th

Time: 11:25 AM

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They say you shouldn’t scratch an itch but I’m not so sure about that.

I’m not talking about skin itches.

The ones I’m referring to are those that itch away at your soul.

Whether it’s the itch to:

• Travel

• Start a new hobby

• Get in shape

• Make a career change

• Create a podcast

• Write a book

• Run a business

It wouldn’t be advisable to let a skin rash spread so why do we procrastinate on the callings that derive from our intuition?

Maybe it’s:

• Fear of failure

• Lack of self-belief

• Opinions of others

• Attachment to adopted perceptions

• Too comfortable in your current scenario

Having led dozens of professionals, I’ve learned that most people have an “itch” but for the reasons noted above, they fear taking action.

If you’ve got an “itch” and you’re hesitating about taking action, this post is for you.

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Imagine someone giving you a tape recording of your future self in old age, nearing the end of your life.

In that recording, your future self describes all of the regrets you have from this present moment till then.

Would you listen to that recording and do everything in your power to avoid them, or would you accept them as inevitabilities and do nothing about it?

— Choosing the latter would be choosing to not live.

It’s normal to fear the actions you need to take. However, you must ask yourself what you fear more.

Fear of regret or fear of the unknown?

Let your “future regrets” guide your actions.

Change can happen quickly when you get clear on what matters.

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How do you know when it’s time to scratch the itch?

In truth, there’s no right answer to this question.

There’s a saying:

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.

So if you’ve long pondered about making a big change but haven’t taken action yet — don’t fret about what has gone because it doesn’t exist.

Speaking from experience, there are obvious signs when the time is right:

• You’re becoming disengaged in whatever you do

• It’s no longer bringing you enough joy or fulfillment

• You don’t see a long-term vision for the path you are on

Try the following 5-step exercise if you have procrastinated taking action on your intuition. It changed my trajectory and I’m glad I followed it!

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1. Document your answers to the following question:

   1. Imagine yourself at the end of your life. Make a list of “regrets will you have if you don’t prioritize what matters most to you?”

   2. Starting with this question helps you to understand what you want the space in-between to look like so that you can avoid regrets come the end

2. Assign a keyword to each of your answers

   1. Doing this will validate what’s most important to you

Example:

Answer: Travel and join running communities

Keywords: Curiosity, Community, Wellbeing

3. Group your answers based on the keyword assignment into 3-5 groups max. and give those groups a theme (e.g. Maintain Curiosity)

   1. It’s fine if the same answer goes into more than one group. This further validates its importance to you

4. Break those answers into goal statements

   1. Now that you know what is most important to you, it’s time to turn those answers into goals

   2. When your goals are aligned with your values, the chances of following through are far greater

5. Compartmentalize your goals into smaller chunks

   1. Start with goals for the year and then break those into quarterly

   2. Turn the quarterly goals into daily actions

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There will be some nuance with every individual but the core principle applies to everyone.

Clarify what is important and take action.

You can read as much self-help content as you like but if you don’t take action, it’s a waste of time.

You must be ruthless in protecting what matters most to you.

I won’t pretend like it’s a bed of roses or that I’ve achieved everything yet but since I completed this exercise, I have:

• Moved closer to my family

• Left my secure corporate job

• Launched my coaching service website

• Grown my newsletter subscribers by writing every day

• Signed up with a fitness coach to help achieve my health goals

You can read about how I got here in my previous post Declutter Your Mind.

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You don’t need to have every step mapped out. It’s impossible.

Taking the first step is all that matters.

There’s no guarantee you’ll stay on the new trajectory either. That’s fine.

You’ll have gained new experience, so you cannot lose.

Eckhart Tolle says it best:

“Any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. If it is a mistake, at least you learn something, in which case it’s no longer a mistake. If you remain stuck, you learn nothing."

If you feel like you need additional support in prioritizing what matters to you — don’t hesitate to reach out to me.

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I’ve covered a lot in this post. Here’s a recap:

1. Follow your intuition

2. If you don’t see a long-term vision for what you’re doing, make a change

3. Get clear on what matters and take action now so that you can avoid regrets when you are older

Live Free,

Niall

Readers Reflection

What is the number one regret you’ll have if you don’t prioritize what matters?

Then ask, what is one step you can take now to ensure the regret doesn’t happen?

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