The idea of following competency into loveless work is striking. Sometimes, it might also be an expected competency hoisted on us by those we love.
Being properly attuned to what feels right, and not what we seem good at, is a skill to learn. Alongside it are the realities of life and money that influence us. It becomes a tough maze to escape.
Thank you for sharing my story Niall! I really liked this post.
I'm on the same page as your reflection, Rasmus! It can be difficult not to be swayed by those external pressures as I am learning, but it's worth it. Glad to share your story here :)
It can be tricky when there was a time when you were still growing and finding fulfillment in a job or activity you were good at, but then reached a point where you'd harvested all the fulfillment you could from that line of work. It can take some brutal self-honesty to realize and accept that you've really outgrown it. But then it is an acknowledgment that you have, in fact, grown, rather than thinking that you just burned out.
I've never heard the term "fulfillment deficit," Niall. That's something new to me. It makes sense. I see myself in your essay today, because I chose a "safe" career in school counseling (which turned out to very much not be a safe choice for me) rather than following my feeling of wanting to become a published author and artist. Now, I eventually DID become a published author, but it's a much more difficult path than if I had started out knowing this was a good fit for me, something I loved doing. And I'm middle-aged now, too, which means I'm in the thick of raising kids and shuffling them to and from school and appointments, which deeply cuts into my time to write or create anything.
Thank you, Jeannie! That descriptor came to me today, so I'm happy to see it resonating outside of my own mind lol. I think many people will see themselves in your story, and it inspires me to continue following what I feel, even if it takes longer than I'd like.
The content is very true. I often do some tasks which I've no intention to do. But, because of my loved ones, I did work and ended up getting hurt. I expect a lot from life, but life gives me something different. At the end of the day, I will be there physically, but mentally I will be somewhere. My first internship was a hard one. Though I've done tasks, I wasn't willing to do. I failed to understand that feeling then, but now I could understand why I felt like that. Anyway, thanks for sharing it, writer. ^^
The fulfillment deficit is something I can relate to, @Niall McGivern. For years, I followed a path based on external expectations, prioritizing what I was competent at rather than what brought me joy or genuine satisfaction. This ‘thought versus feeling’ distinction—where conditioned thoughts steer us away from instinctual drives—captures so much of that disconnect. Only when I began focusing on self-expression did I notice a real shift, with curiosity and joy gradually replacing the emptiness I once felt. This piece feels like an invitation to reassess those foundations, with curiosity as the compass instead of mere competence.
I'm delighted you found your way back to instinct and have been reaping the rewards. Isn't it funny how curiosity and joy naturally follow when you are simply being yourself?
Thank you, Niall! It truly is remarkable how aligning with instinct opens the door to curiosity and joy—it’s almost as if those qualities were waiting to step in once I started living more authentically. It’s been a journey of rediscovery, and it’s refreshing to see how natural fulfillment can feel when it’s rooted in being true to oneself.
The idea of following competency into loveless work is striking. Sometimes, it might also be an expected competency hoisted on us by those we love.
Being properly attuned to what feels right, and not what we seem good at, is a skill to learn. Alongside it are the realities of life and money that influence us. It becomes a tough maze to escape.
Thank you for sharing my story Niall! I really liked this post.
I'm on the same page as your reflection, Rasmus! It can be difficult not to be swayed by those external pressures as I am learning, but it's worth it. Glad to share your story here :)
It can be tricky when there was a time when you were still growing and finding fulfillment in a job or activity you were good at, but then reached a point where you'd harvested all the fulfillment you could from that line of work. It can take some brutal self-honesty to realize and accept that you've really outgrown it. But then it is an acknowledgment that you have, in fact, grown, rather than thinking that you just burned out.
I like this perspective, and I when reflecting on my own career journey this is exactly I how I see it
I've never heard the term "fulfillment deficit," Niall. That's something new to me. It makes sense. I see myself in your essay today, because I chose a "safe" career in school counseling (which turned out to very much not be a safe choice for me) rather than following my feeling of wanting to become a published author and artist. Now, I eventually DID become a published author, but it's a much more difficult path than if I had started out knowing this was a good fit for me, something I loved doing. And I'm middle-aged now, too, which means I'm in the thick of raising kids and shuffling them to and from school and appointments, which deeply cuts into my time to write or create anything.
Thank you, Jeannie! That descriptor came to me today, so I'm happy to see it resonating outside of my own mind lol. I think many people will see themselves in your story, and it inspires me to continue following what I feel, even if it takes longer than I'd like.
The content is very true. I often do some tasks which I've no intention to do. But, because of my loved ones, I did work and ended up getting hurt. I expect a lot from life, but life gives me something different. At the end of the day, I will be there physically, but mentally I will be somewhere. My first internship was a hard one. Though I've done tasks, I wasn't willing to do. I failed to understand that feeling then, but now I could understand why I felt like that. Anyway, thanks for sharing it, writer. ^^
I'm grateful that this edition resonated with you. I hope that your experiences are guiding you towards a path that is most true to you.
Yeah, and thanks for that. Anyway, to be honest I truly loved your newsletter. Can’t wait to read yours. Have a good day, writer.^^
The fulfillment deficit is something I can relate to, @Niall McGivern. For years, I followed a path based on external expectations, prioritizing what I was competent at rather than what brought me joy or genuine satisfaction. This ‘thought versus feeling’ distinction—where conditioned thoughts steer us away from instinctual drives—captures so much of that disconnect. Only when I began focusing on self-expression did I notice a real shift, with curiosity and joy gradually replacing the emptiness I once felt. This piece feels like an invitation to reassess those foundations, with curiosity as the compass instead of mere competence.
I'm delighted you found your way back to instinct and have been reaping the rewards. Isn't it funny how curiosity and joy naturally follow when you are simply being yourself?
Thank you, Niall! It truly is remarkable how aligning with instinct opens the door to curiosity and joy—it’s almost as if those qualities were waiting to step in once I started living more authentically. It’s been a journey of rediscovery, and it’s refreshing to see how natural fulfillment can feel when it’s rooted in being true to oneself.
Fully agree. We just have to keep going inward and it will naturally open up.