14 Comments

Well said and well done. Folks need to print this out and put on the refrigerator! A real tool to introduce clarity

Expand full comment

That's a pretty sweet compliment!!

Expand full comment

Thank you for this liberating piece.

Expand full comment

Appreciate your comment, Natalie :)

Expand full comment

Beautiful message Niall - such a vivid way of showing us what it means to walk our own path!

Expand full comment

Thank you, Zan :)

Expand full comment

Thinking about how others perceive you, and their perceptions often being based on the assumptions they make puts things into perspective.

It’s also liberating as you say.

If their perception is just a reputation, it doesn’t affect my own—as long as we learn to separate them.

Expand full comment

It is liberating, Rasmus! We're conditioned to care about what everyone else thinks so it takes time and intention to undo that mindset.

Expand full comment

This post first made me think of a great quote from a friend of mine who liked to say, "Your opinion of me is none of my business." And he taught me how to build my self-worth upon the inner soul that can never be taken away or threatened unless you allow it to be.

I had a valuable experience years ago where reputation was concerned when I was part of Microsoft's first Developer Relations group. In 1993, because I'd written (as Kraig Brockschmidt. my non-fiction name) *the* book on one of the big developer technologies that Microsoft was pushing at the time (called Object Linking and Embedding), I became really *the* public expert. I was almost synonymous with the technology...until early 1996 when Microsoft renamed the technology to "ActiveX" at which point my association with it was instantly broken.

But that was OK. I'd had my fill of fame and all the nonsense that went with it (I have a chapter in my memoir Mystic Microsoft about this). I remember walking blissfully around a conference in early 1996 without having people hound me with questions at every corner. It was quite liberating! So liberating, in fact, that the loss of reputation made it possible for me to step away from tech altogether as I did later that year without leaving a gaping void.

A few years later, too, I came up with a mantra that I found very meaningful for transitions: "I must die to who I was to know what I must now become."

Expand full comment

Kraig, thanks for sharing this story. Your experience is a perfect demonstration of the freedom which accompanies the loss of your outward-facing reputation and your detachment from that reputation allowing you to move in a more fulfilling direction.

If it's interesting to you, I'd love to share this story as part of my LVN Stories project. If you haven't seen it, I can fill you in.

Expand full comment

Yes, that sounds interesting. Do fill me in.

Expand full comment

I'll message you :)

Expand full comment

Thanks for including me in your newsletter, Niall! Your theme is a perennial favorite of mine and I feel honored to be included.

This is my first collaboration and you made it so easy and enjoyable so thanks for that too. 😊

Expand full comment

Appreciate these words, Beth! It was a joy to collaborate with you and I'm grateful to have an opportunity to share your story. Both of us made the same decision to leave our safe jobs in favour of exploring our passion for writing so when I discovered your story, I couldn't wait to share it.

Expand full comment